Back to the great book, "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting" by Holly Whitcomb. The sixth gift of waiting is humility. She opens this chapter with "sometimes we wait because we can't do anything else. We recognize we are powerless". We learn to lean on God during this time and experience grace because we can't "do" anything about our situation.
Once we stop trying to "do" something, we may have more time to see who we actually are and evaluate what is important to us. We see that the times we have "done" something are not as important as the times that we have loved someone. The author says that the despair of waiting can bring us low...and that change in perspective helps us see others around us who are struggling, too. We learn to value people more and honor the human journey more.
She ends with the thought that humility allows us to see our weaknesses and our flaws. But, it also allows us to see our strengths and our potential. As we wait, we need to acknowledge what good things the wait brings out of us as well as work on the not-so-good qualities we see in ourselves.
It makes me feel like while waiting, God hands you a great big mirror like the kind you find in dressing rooms. The lighting brings out all your flaws and wrinkles. What do you see in there? Do you still have a happy glow about you or is it all slumped shoulders and frowns? Do you look for the good qualities or only the bad? What can we learn from this mirror?
Here's looking at you, fellow waiters! Hope you see lots of good stuff in your mirrors!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Birthday Blessings
Didn't get a chance to post last week. We've got our house for sale and have had some stuff going on with that. We also packed up Friday and went on a camping trip to the mountains. That was very refreshing!
Today is my birthday and I'm counting my blessings. Between the house and the adoption, my world is full of unknowns and anxiety. I constantly remind myself that I am waiting for all good things to happen. I have my faith, good health, a terrific hubby, sweet daughter and lots of family and friends. We have a nice house, two reliable vehicles, lots of "stuff" and lots of fun. All the worries, though major life changing things, are small potatoes compared to what many families deal with every day. I am blessed.
So, if you need me, I will be sitting in my unsold house, with a big smile on my face holding a big spoon above an even bigger piece of ice cream cake! Happy Monday!
Today is my birthday and I'm counting my blessings. Between the house and the adoption, my world is full of unknowns and anxiety. I constantly remind myself that I am waiting for all good things to happen. I have my faith, good health, a terrific hubby, sweet daughter and lots of family and friends. We have a nice house, two reliable vehicles, lots of "stuff" and lots of fun. All the worries, though major life changing things, are small potatoes compared to what many families deal with every day. I am blessed.
So, if you need me, I will be sitting in my unsold house, with a big smile on my face holding a big spoon above an even bigger piece of ice cream cake! Happy Monday!
Friday, August 8, 2008
It's Friday...I'm Fasting
I've been on a self-imposed fast from all adoption related internet groups, boards, blogs, etc. I am only checking my email and anything unrelated to adoption. At this for about 4 days now and I'm finding it quite refreshing!
I actually got a little bit of hopeful news relating to adoption in my email inbox during the last couple of days. I'm thinking this fasting thing is working out! Not sure how long I can do this, but I'm going to try it for awhile.
I have Google reader set up, though and I can see that some of my fave bloggers have updated recently. It's hard not to peek and see what's going on in their world, but I just think good thoughts for them and move on! I'll check in eventually.
I think it is possible that an adoption internet fast is harder for me than food. Well, maybe not, but it's a close race. Hope your bellies are full of nutritious meals, your spirits are full of peace and your inboxes overflow with good news.
Happy Friday!
PS: For a fun-raising Friday idea, I suggest watching the Olympics opening ceremony and eating foods from around the world. I'm letting my little one stay up late for some multi-cultural TV time!
I actually got a little bit of hopeful news relating to adoption in my email inbox during the last couple of days. I'm thinking this fasting thing is working out! Not sure how long I can do this, but I'm going to try it for awhile.
I have Google reader set up, though and I can see that some of my fave bloggers have updated recently. It's hard not to peek and see what's going on in their world, but I just think good thoughts for them and move on! I'll check in eventually.
I think it is possible that an adoption internet fast is harder for me than food. Well, maybe not, but it's a close race. Hope your bellies are full of nutritious meals, your spirits are full of peace and your inboxes overflow with good news.
Happy Friday!
PS: For a fun-raising Friday idea, I suggest watching the Olympics opening ceremony and eating foods from around the world. I'm letting my little one stay up late for some multi-cultural TV time!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
#5 Gratitude
We're onto the fifth gift of waiting from the book "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting." I especially liked this chapter on gratitude. I think most of the time, I find it pretty easy to be grateful for the many wonderful things in my life. I can always find someone in a worse situation and see that I have it pretty good. But, I do fall into the "woe is me" trap occasionally.
One of the author's ideas in this chapter is to look at what might be a depressing situation and try to "reframe" it. She uses the Biblical beatitudes as example. She also talks about how she has these ordinary items they picked up while traveling put in fancy frames in her house. The frame turns the ordinary into a beautiful piece of art. So, how we can we "reframe" the wait and see the beauty in it?
She also talks about gratitude vs. entitlement. Feelings of entitlement defeat feelings of gratitude. Her last point is that waiting opens our hearts, makes us vulnerable and allows us to see the blessings of small things we might have missed otherwise.
Let's have a little Thanksgiving in August. It's incredibly hot here in the South. I've been dreaming of a crisp, fall day! I'm going to try and spend the day being grateful. I may have to substitute turkey lunch meat for my Thanksgiving meal! Frankly, I've been a little blue this week. My head knows all the reasons why I should be grateful and content. But, in the words of Billy Ray, I've got an Achy Breaky Heart! No matter, though, because I continue to wait expectantly with hope and gratitude even on the hard days. Hope you are waiting well, too!
One of the author's ideas in this chapter is to look at what might be a depressing situation and try to "reframe" it. She uses the Biblical beatitudes as example. She also talks about how she has these ordinary items they picked up while traveling put in fancy frames in her house. The frame turns the ordinary into a beautiful piece of art. So, how we can we "reframe" the wait and see the beauty in it?
She also talks about gratitude vs. entitlement. Feelings of entitlement defeat feelings of gratitude. Her last point is that waiting opens our hearts, makes us vulnerable and allows us to see the blessings of small things we might have missed otherwise.
Let's have a little Thanksgiving in August. It's incredibly hot here in the South. I've been dreaming of a crisp, fall day! I'm going to try and spend the day being grateful. I may have to substitute turkey lunch meat for my Thanksgiving meal! Frankly, I've been a little blue this week. My head knows all the reasons why I should be grateful and content. But, in the words of Billy Ray, I've got an Achy Breaky Heart! No matter, though, because I continue to wait expectantly with hope and gratitude even on the hard days. Hope you are waiting well, too!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Fourth Gift = Compassion
Back to the great book, "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting" (Whitcomb)to learn about the fourth gift of waiting: Compassion. The author talks about how when we are waiting, we tend to seek out others who understand how we feel. That's what brought some of you to this website, I am sure.
I think adoption waiting is hard for people to understand unless they are in it or have been through it. Most people don't adopt, so they don't understand the roller coaster ride. I know that I find Internet groups of adoptive families to be helpful (most of the time) because though they may have very different lives than me, they have one important similarity...they are waiting for their child.
Compassion teaches us how to accept help from others. We need other people as we go through this process. It's hard to admit that sometimes. The author says "being able to receive comfortably and with grace is a blessed relief." So, if people want to help you in some way, let them! Sometimes we need strength from others to hold us up.
The idea is that through the waiting, there are other people who will be able to help us. To really see us for who we are and what we need at those moments. I think for that to happen, though, we have to open ourselves up to the idea that we do need other people to get us through this. It may not be the people we would normally turn to for help. Perhaps your close friends don't understand or your family isn't supportive of the adoption. That just means you have to look in other places for support.
I know that I count it a great blessing that through the adoption process the first time around, I made some incredible friends. They are people I would likely never have met, otherwise. That's one of the great side benefits to this process.
Who have you met through this process? Who do you turn to when you need support about the wait? Is there anyone in your life who sees you for who you are and knows how to lift you up? If so, let them know how much you appreciate it and look for ways you can show that kind of compassion to others.
I think adoption waiting is hard for people to understand unless they are in it or have been through it. Most people don't adopt, so they don't understand the roller coaster ride. I know that I find Internet groups of adoptive families to be helpful (most of the time) because though they may have very different lives than me, they have one important similarity...they are waiting for their child.
Compassion teaches us how to accept help from others. We need other people as we go through this process. It's hard to admit that sometimes. The author says "being able to receive comfortably and with grace is a blessed relief." So, if people want to help you in some way, let them! Sometimes we need strength from others to hold us up.
The idea is that through the waiting, there are other people who will be able to help us. To really see us for who we are and what we need at those moments. I think for that to happen, though, we have to open ourselves up to the idea that we do need other people to get us through this. It may not be the people we would normally turn to for help. Perhaps your close friends don't understand or your family isn't supportive of the adoption. That just means you have to look in other places for support.
I know that I count it a great blessing that through the adoption process the first time around, I made some incredible friends. They are people I would likely never have met, otherwise. That's one of the great side benefits to this process.
Who have you met through this process? Who do you turn to when you need support about the wait? Is there anyone in your life who sees you for who you are and knows how to lift you up? If so, let them know how much you appreciate it and look for ways you can show that kind of compassion to others.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Poetic Waiting
It's Friday and I can't really think of a good funraising Friday post, so I'm giving you a poem instead. I found this during our first adoption wait. I liked it then, but I'm really living it more now. Hope it speaks to you, too.
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate
...and the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate
...and the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Gift 3 - Living in the Present
We're looking at the book, "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting." (Whitcomb)
Next up: Gift #3 Living in the Present.
The first sentence of this chapter is "Waiting teaches us to dwell fully where we are." I've already been thinking about this idea because I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's cd, "This Moment," non-stop in the car lately. The songs have taken on new significance since the Chapman's lost their youngest daughter, Maria in a tragic accident at their home. She was adopted from China and they have a wonderful foundation set up to encourage adoption. (Shaohannah's Hope)
One of my favorite songs is "Miracle of the Moment" and here's a little bit of the lyrics:
That's the idea of this chapter, too. Be present right now. Let go of the worry of tomorrow and live now. Appreciate the small things, the good things you have now.
I know in my own life that I do tend to mark off the future in little increments. Like, I get back from vacation and then mentally check off how long until the next vacation? My daughter learns how to drink from a cup and I think, "how long until she learns to tie her shoes?" I'm always thinking about the next step before I get done taking this one. There's nothing wrong with planning for the future, as long as it doesn't get in the way of experiencing today.
Though it may not seem like it right now as we wait, time really does go by way too fast. Time to stop wishing our lives away to the weekend, to the next vacation, to when the kids are in school etc, and enjoy this moment.
Now quit reading this blog and go enjoy the moment with those you love!
Next up: Gift #3 Living in the Present.
The first sentence of this chapter is "Waiting teaches us to dwell fully where we are." I've already been thinking about this idea because I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's cd, "This Moment," non-stop in the car lately. The songs have taken on new significance since the Chapman's lost their youngest daughter, Maria in a tragic accident at their home. She was adopted from China and they have a wonderful foundation set up to encourage adoption. (Shaohannah's Hope)
One of my favorite songs is "Miracle of the Moment" and here's a little bit of the lyrics:
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment
That's the idea of this chapter, too. Be present right now. Let go of the worry of tomorrow and live now. Appreciate the small things, the good things you have now.
I know in my own life that I do tend to mark off the future in little increments. Like, I get back from vacation and then mentally check off how long until the next vacation? My daughter learns how to drink from a cup and I think, "how long until she learns to tie her shoes?" I'm always thinking about the next step before I get done taking this one. There's nothing wrong with planning for the future, as long as it doesn't get in the way of experiencing today.
Though it may not seem like it right now as we wait, time really does go by way too fast. Time to stop wishing our lives away to the weekend, to the next vacation, to when the kids are in school etc, and enjoy this moment.
Now quit reading this blog and go enjoy the moment with those you love!
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